In what can only be described as a ruthless attack on the world, mindfreak Criss Angel has hatched a plan to move to Canada and control the minds of millions of thought leaders across the blogosphere.
It first started with an innocent announcement of a Criss Angel Look-a-Like contest at the Luxor. This was enough to unconsciously lure the host victim in this heinous crime -- Jeremy Wright, CEO of blog network b5media, hailing from Toronto and whose resemblance to the dark lord is uncanny. Jeremy experienced an awkward stare-down with the evil magician late Friday night, leaving Jeremy unusually disoriented and ill and his passport missing!
Today, while Jeremy tries desperately to return to his homeland, sources indicate Criss Angel has already entered b5media's offices in Toronto, from where he's tapped into the core publishing platform in order to control the minds of >10M influential Web users, through popular blogs such as Deep Jive Interests and ProBlogger.
Using my own mind control prowess, I've been able to intercept the signals and redirect most of them to Michael Arrington as penance for his no-show at BlogWorld. (Expect very odd behavior from him for a while.) However, if you feel abnormally prone to drama-blogging or twittering, you have been affected by Criss Angel's mind control! Your only remedy to breaking this wretched curse is to link to MetaMuse -- I'll take it from there!
This post is satirical and uses real names to embellish the story for entertainment purposes. I really don't have mind control prowess. Very little of this story is true.